Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment

1. Be a Fundamentalist - make sure the Fun always comes before the Mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material.

2. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, and that will ensure regularhilarity. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, just for entering so you are already a winner!

3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the channel.

4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. And, no matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you. He's just not ready to make a commitment.

5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness Training class:

"Don't get even, get odd."

6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.

8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.

9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is there is no key to the Universe. The good news is it has been left unlocked.

10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels.

(Copyright Steve Bhaerman, reprinted with permission)

The following was shared by the various members of the Association of Global New Thought when they returned from India and meeting with the Dalai Lama for several days recently. The meetings focused on dialoguing what they believed were the 5 most important questions to be considered moving into the new millennium. The group was asked to come up with five questions before meeting with the

Dalai Lama. They asked:

* How do we address the widening gap between rich and poor?

* How do we protect the earth

* How do we educate our children?

* How do we help Tibet and other oppressed countries/peoples?

* How do we bring spirituality - deep caring for each other - through all disciplines?

The Dalai Lama said all the questions fall under the last one. If we have true compassion, our children will be educated, we will care for the earth, and for those who "have not". He asked the group: Do you think loving on the planet is increasing or staying the same? His own response was, "My experience leads me to believe that love IS increasing." He shared a practice with the group that will increase loving and compassion in the world, and asked everyone attending to go home and share it with as many people as possible.

The Practice:

1. Spend 5 minutes at the beginning of each day remembering we all want the same thing (to be happy and loved) and we are all connected.

2. Spend 5 minutes cherishing yourself and others. Let go of judgments.

Breathe in cherishing yourself, and breathe out cherishing others. If the faces of people you are having difficulty with appear, cherish them as well.

3. During the day extend that attitude to everyone you meet - we are all the same, and I cherish myself and you [do it with the grocery store clerk, the client, your family, co-workers, etc.].

                             God's boxes

                              I have in my hands two boxes

                         which God gave me to hold

                      He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black,

                              And all your joys in the gold."

                       I heeded His words, and in the two boxes

                           Both my joys and sorrows I stored

                    But though the gold became heavier each day

                             The black was as light as before

                           With curiosity, I opened the black

                                 I wanted to find out why

                        And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole

                          Which my sorrows had fallen out by

                     I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,

                         "I wonder where my sorrows could be"

                             He smiled a gentle smile at me.

                          "My child, they're all here with me."

                         I asked, "God, why give me the boxes,

                      Why the gold, and the black with the hole?"

                "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,

                              The black is for you to let go."

                                          -unknown

ACOA Redondo Beach incest survivor MBW Family known for Harry Potter Easter Party wedding pranks, divorce pranks, redhead jokes, the Oh No A Bear Picture, Colorado resident Marvin the Martian, Spirituality Stories, Casper, Aaron's Galaxy, Angela's Taz, Amaryzingrace's Tweety Brittny's and Drew's Angelica and Tommy from Rugrats Playground. The guys won't want to miss my co-worker and model Marina Blackwell's photo gallery.